Swimming Machine, 1931

No, this is not an instrument of torture. This is for those who want to learn how to swim without having to get wet. According to the inventor, "strokes must be made correctly or the bars will refuse to move. Any attempt to jerk or alter will be met with resistance."

Sounding more like an instrument of torture with every sentence.

Drizzle Gard (1950s)

Yes, but how wet do you get installing it?

blow torch 1924

Here's a fun idea. A flashlight that doesn't need batteries. Instead, the user simply blows into one end, and light comes out the other. In between is a mini turbine, which,when spun by blowing, charges two magnets creating an electrical charge thus lighting the bulb. Voila!

I'm sure cyclists all over the world would love to get one of these for Christmas.